My Story

October 17, 2011 § 1 Comment

Hello readers,

This is my first post. My hand has been forced. I see protests and unhappiness everywhere. The revolution is at hand, banks have screwed up the world and governments sit on their heels. And I say this as one of those who has been in the front line of the screwing. Yes I am a screwer. I am a banker.

To be honest our markets have been corrupted by the Americans. As with so many things they brought their greed first philosophy over here in the guise of prosperity and meritocracy. I know, because I worked at a U.S. investment bank. I hated it . There was no sense of decorum or manners. Or organisation. Eventually I was forced out.

I was really shocked. I retired to my country house and mulled over my situation for several months. I tried my hand at writing, philosophy, tennis. But to no avail. Banking is in my blood you see (more about that later). And so I asked a few friends to pull some strings and got back into the city. After an unsuccessful stint at a hedge fund I moved to X, a German bank, which is where I am today.

The philosophy here was (note how I use past tense) much more affiliated with traditional English values. They liked the stiff upper lip and mild jingoism. No one raised their voice here or spoke too much, just wooly wooly and warm. It was all going along so smoothly and then they too decided to ‘go American’. That was four years ago. Its been downhill ever since. You wouldn’t believe the horrific things I’ve seen going on behind closed doors. Under tables. Inside desks. Toilets etc.

Yes things are tough for me. I hope that you will follow my blog and learn the truth about investment banking. I will be the first to admit that I am not a natural writer and so will occasionally employ ghost writers and friends to help me out.

Thank you and vive la vida!

Tim

PS If anyone watched Tim Saunders on the BBC London News this evening– I have nothing in common with him. He is a chartered account, a nothing. He has no idea of the workings of an IB and the salaries we are on. Why they interviewed him God only knows!

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