Antiques Roadshow

October 24, 2011 § Leave a comment

They killed the EU vote.

The chance to break out has come and gone.

The man from the Economist on Newsnight this evening (spectacles, pink tie, Charles Tyrwhitt shirt, earns no more than 150k, don’t believe a word he says) says Switzerland is small, gets to be a parasite, a free rider. Don’t you believe this man for a second! The Swiss are the sneakiest big players in the room. Not the mouse, the elephant. Who ever heard of a war in Switzerland. Who ever heard of taxes in Switzerland. Who ever heard of due diligence in Switzerland. Boring, yes. Small no!

Its men like you pink tie who are confusing your average Joe or Ted.

Let me tell you of an experience:

I went to the antiques roadshow in Tupperton on Sunday. They were all there—Fiona Bruce, dressed like an old teabag, Bruce Dickison and Simon Wallesly or whatever…and the others.

I brought an old antique I picked up from a dealer in Paris a few years ago– a bottle in a ship. The bottle was olive green, quite nicely decorated, with a little watermark on the bottom; while the ship itself was beautifully done in a craft using complicated arrangements of wire and canvas. I was fairly excited about the day and when it got to our turn I presented it with much trepidation to Hugh Jackman, a slightly youngish guy with a stripy jacket. I was really interested in finding out a little more about its roots, where it had come from (the provenance), what the history was behind it.

I was lapping up his words, and was thrilled to hear that it was a Frenchy bottle, and the ship was also made in France by a tinker, or something. And then it came to the value — £1500!

I couldn’t believe it. I was adamant it couldn’t be. The man slapped my back with a chuckle, told me that he had been joking of course and that it was much more likely to be near £500.

Again I couldn’t bloody believe it. Where do they get these people from? I paid £7000 for it!

Anyway I can’t recall what else he told me, something about Lynn glass, etc. but I threw the bottle as hard as I could and smashed it on the ground. His expression said it all.


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