!!!!This no longer applies. I now work at A HEDGE FUND!!!!
Offices: big, shiny, black building just south of Liverpool Street.
Paul Clungemakker: MD Head of desk. British, yobbish, low levels of education, drinks a lot, loves golf, known for having the biggest balls on the street. Doesn’t drive.
Ashwin Kumar: Harvard MBA, mathematical genius, Indian. Father owns IPL cricket team, romantically linked with Liz Hurely, drives a Lambo. Great guy.
Rahan Hoffman: Cambridge, Swiss-born, trades bonds normally, another maths guru, drives Black Horse (Ferrari). Good guy.
Nathan Wildenstein: Harvard MBS, half-American, very confident in his own ability, trades cross-currencies, prick, drives DB9, cocky.
I: Nikkei trader, St Andrews, experienced, English, drive: Range Rover at home, Land Rover to work, luxury sports car.
Interns: We have a 22-year old, Russian ex-model called Katliana I think. Blonde hair, boobs etc