Weekend Diary: Lunch with Bozza

Good morning

My fine fellows, and what a fair morning it is. Why? Well I’ll give you a clue– it’s flat, 58 inches and conjures up more excitement than a Greek in debt. Yes my stonking, new plasma TV screen has arrived! I hope that I have time to watch something on it today. Schedule:

1pm: I’ve luncheon with an old prepschool chum, Boris Johnson, this afternoon. Off to a new place– Dorsia in S Ken. Bojo currently works in the London civil service. Clever chap, good at Latin. Shame he never really fulfilled his potential. I’m looking forward to lunch though. He’s a bit of a glutton, usually found with his head in the trough, chowing on whatever fruity delights he can whip up.

9pm: Dinner, Le Cap, dancing etc, Annies. Meeting good pal Mike from JP. He’s newly single, well-minted and horny like a dog.

Anyway more on the crisis– Greece is down the toilet. They’re setting up a bit of a trust fund for the cause. Unfortunately the tightwad dago countries unwilling to contribute. German’s getting larded to the tune of 211bn euros i hear.

Poor Fritz. It’s always like this. Amazing how one’s character is defined (good word) by your country of origin. I can provide you with some exemplars (great word) from my own list of old school chums. Should illustrate the problem a bit better:

Constantinos Stavilos. Greek. Frivolous with his money. Always out blowing cash on fancy Greek meals, big boats and fixing destroyed kitchens. Deadly sin– FRIVOLITY.

Mauro Pirelli. Wop. Both tight and a spendthrift. Never lent anyone a pea. Big weakness for expensive prostitutes. Deadly sin- LUST and NIGGARDLINESS

Oscar de la Borges– Spaniard. Bloody lazy chap. Property-heir. Heard all his timeshare appts went bust though. Deadly sin- SLOTH

Dick Schneider– Eine Kraut. Good guy. Stands up for his chums. Doesn’t like foreigners much. Loves sausages (please see sausage episode, previous post, ‘The Eurozone dead’). Easy to browbeat out of a couple of quid. Deadly sin- GLUTTONY

Nicolas de Sauvignon– Frenchy.  Need I say more? Deadly sin- VANITY

Me: English. Hard worker. Good guy. Will always lend a friend a pound. As long as I get it back. Deadly sin– STEADFASTNESS

LATE NOTE: I have been told that my earlier entry is both juvenile and racist and that I should think twice before calling my European compatriots names. I’m not sure why anyone would find the above offensive. But anyway just like to say sorry.